


Hold Me Now

by RichieIsABastardMan



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, Follows the plot loosely of the movie with a reader insert, Movie: IT Chapter Two (2019), Mutual Pining, Reader is unhappily engaged, Romance, Smut, and Richie is a sappy shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-10-25 21:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20730821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichieIsABastardMan/pseuds/RichieIsABastardMan
Summary: You had forgotten about everything that happened in Derry until Mike called you up. Now, sitting in the restaurant surrounded by your friends, you remembered everything. More importantly, you remember Richie. (Fluff/Angst). (This is based of IT: Chapter 2 (2019))





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Alcohol, Drunk people, Swearing, Marijuana, Tobacco smoking
> 
> Note: Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. There might be inconsistent spelling because I’m Australian and was trying to use American spelling for certain things. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> I post also on my tumblr (before I post here usually) so feel free to check that out! https://richieisabastardman.tumblr.com/

The faint buzzing of the fluorescent lighting within the small bathroom nagged at your ears. You brought the cigarette you had been smoking to your lips once again, breathing in a bit too heavily. Your coughing echoed through the bathroom stall in which you sat, your head in your hands. You hadn’t smoked for at least twenty years, and yet here you were smoking in a bathroom stall like you were in high school again. You considered it fitting, as you had felt as though you were back in high school the minute you had driven past the Welcome to Derry sign. Memories of your childhood had flooded past some gate in your mind that you hadn’t realized existed. You had asked the taxi driver to pull over the car as the memories came, tears welling up in your eyes and blurring your vision as you had vomited out of the taxi window. You had remembered all the love that you had had for your friends, the losers. You remembered the happiness you felt playing street fighter with Richie in the arcade until it was dark outside and you knew your parents would yell at you for missing curfew. And you remembered the fear you had for the thing that was waiting for you in that town.

You took in a shaky breath at the thought of it, taking a final drag from your cigarette before standing up to throw the bud into the toilet bowl. You left the stall, moving to stand in front of the sink in order to splash your face with water. You could hear the bustle of people outside of the bathroom, chatting loudly in the restaurant in which you were to meet your childhood friends. Your gaze lifted from the sink to the mirror behind it. Your makeup had managed to stay moderately presentable, with just a few black smudges around the bottom of your eyes. You suspected it was a result of both the frantic tears you had shed when you first entered the restaurant and the water you had just used to try and wash such actions away. After running your fingers lightly below your eyes, you reached for the restroom door – pushing yourself forward into the bright restaurant.

Whilst the bright red hue of the restaurant assaulted your eyes, you heard a familiar loud voice which strangely soothed your ears. The voice was unmistakable. You followed the sound, quickly ending up in a more private area of the restaurant. The people within the room turned towards you the sound of your heels alerting them to your presence. Their eyes widening with realisation. The tall man with messy hair and large, thick framed glasses, was the last the turn.

“What the hell are you guys-“ the man spoke as he turned towards you, mouth shutting as you stared at each other.

“Y/N?” he spoke softly.

“Hi” you smiled before collapsing to the ground, a new rush of memories hitting you.

~

“Pass the joint, asshole” you whined, reaching over towards Richie in an attempt to steal the burning joint from his hands. The two of you were sitting together, newly eighteen years of age, and getting high in Richie’s bedroom waiting for the other losers to come around.

“Just take it! Just take it from my hands! Really Y/N, I don’t know why you’re being so weird about this” he laughed, reaching his arm further and further away from you.

You huffed, smacking his shoulder. He feigned injury from your assault before smiling at you, his voice softening as he said a quiet “fine, here” and passed you the joint. You took it from his hands, fingers lightly brushing over his during the exchange. Richie looked away from you again, coughing in an attempt to clear the slight tension he had felt in that moment. Taking drag after drag from the joint between your fingers, you flipped through a magazine, groaning at the article you were reading.

“What is it?” Richie asked, leaning his chest against your back to gaze over your shoulder at the magazine. The act was innocent enough, but your breath caught in your throat at the warmth of him behind you.

You stopped your mind from drifting to other ways he could be behind you by answering his question. “Just celebrity gossip shit, you wouldn’t care” you smiled, turning your head slightly to look at him before realising just how close his face was to yours. You turned back towards the magazine, quickly turning the page and pretending to read again.

Richie simply hummed in response, standing up to turn on the radio. You hated how cold you felt now without him near you. Your disappointment faded however when The Thompson Twins began to play through the speakers of the stereo and you let out a satisfactory yelp, singing along.

“So perhaps I should leave here and go far away” You sang and Richie groaned loudly, threatening to change the radio station.

You glared at him, a silent don’t you dare, Tozier that he knew too well as you continued to sing.

“But you know that there’s nowhere that I’d rather be than with you here today”

Just as the chorus began, Richie changed the channel, smirking at the irritation in your eyes.

“Asshole!” you yelled, standing up to try and change the channel back to the previous station. Before you could reach the radio, Richie threw his arms around your waist, pulling you away from the radio and into his chest. You grabbed at his hands, laughing as you tried to release yourself.

“No way Y/L/N. I refuse to listen to that shit. It was bad in the eighties and its bad now” He said, holding you against him tighter.

“I could say the same about you” you teased, and he let you go. You turned to stare at him, his face etched with false sadness as you smirked. You moved closer to him, grabbing his cheeks to try and pull his mouth into a smile. He swatted your hands away, laughing at your actions and lightly grabbing your wrists to hold them hovering near his face.

The laughter however subsided as you continued to stare at each other. You were the first to break your gaze, trying to stare at the wall, your feet, anywhere that wasn’t Richie.

“Don’t” he spoke softly, moving his face closer to yours. His nose brushed yours, as he tilted his head.

He moved himself slowly closer and closer to your lips.

~

“Come on, Y/N! Wakey-wakey! Wake up for fucks sake”

You awoke to a panicked, deep voice. Opening your eyes, you saw him once again, the hand he was using to fan you stopping when he had realized your eyes had opened.

“Richie” you smiled and he returned the smile, letting out a heavy sigh of relief.

“You scared us there Y/N” Beverly laughed, and you realised that she was also sitting beside you on the ground of the Chinese restaurant.

“I just wanted to make an entrance” you joked, sitting yourself up with the help of Richie’s hand on your lower back. Beverly and Richie lifted you up gently, and you fixed your dress, embarrassed by the scene you had made.

“Let’s do this again, shall we” you laughed but stopped when you were pulled into a tight hug by Richie. As the shock of the action subsided, you reach your arms around his back, hugging him back tightly. When Ben cleared his throat, Richie pulled back laughing, his hands holding onto each of your shoulders. He stared at you as though he wasn’t sure you were real, his eyes gazing up and down.

“Eyes up here, Tozier” you said.

“Its good to see you” He replied, ignoring your comment. You nodded at him, an attempt to let him know you felt the same.

After Richie’s greeting, you went on to greet the other losers before sitting down at the large round table. Conversation began to flow easily amongst all of you as the rest of the loser’s memories began to come back to them. You weren’t sure why yours had come in two large bursts, but you were just glad you weren’t the only one to have forgotten about this place, about these people, until you had returned. The conversation naturally lulled into smaller group conversations. You chatted with Eddie, who sat to the left of you. He was still just as hyper as he was when he was younger, and it had become even more endearing with age. Even more naturally, both you and Richie, who had sat to the right of you, had begun to speak to each other.

“I saw your Netflix special” you said, your words slurring slightly from the large number of shots you had done in the last hour.

“Oh yeah” Richie smirked. He had taken just as many shots, but due to his height he was only in the smug-flirty stage of his intoxication. “What did you think?”.

You thought for a moment, your drunk brain processing everything a little bit slower than usual before you spoke “Meh”.

Richie’s face fell before he began to protest. “Meh? Meh!?”.

You shrugged, smiling at his irritation “It’s just… I’ve heard you be funnier than that”.

Richie raised an eyebrow, before shaking his head and smiling to himself. He took another shot, wincing and trying to ignore the burning in his throat.

“So you have a girlfriend?” You asked, attempting to sound as if you didn’t care. You did care. You cared a lot actually. You refused, however, to give Richie the satisfaction of your jealousy.

“I have a what now?” He asked, choking slightly due to the drink, or perhaps due to the question.

“Girlfriend?” you questioned. “You said, in the special I mean, something about jerking off to your girlfriends’ friends’ facebook..” you trailed off, your mind too foggy from the alcohol to finish your sentence.

“Oh! Right. Yeah. No.” He stated quickly, taking a large swig from the beer that had just been placed in front of him by a waiter.

“Oh okay”. You said, confused. Richie had always been one to exaggerate his sexual adventures (and downplay his misadventures) but it was out of character for him to make up a whole significant other. Unless he used to have a girlfriend and now he doesn’t, and you had just stuck your fingers into a fresh wound.

Great, now he definitely wouldn’t sleep with you.

Woah. You thought to yourself. Where had that come from?

You realised you had been ignoring Richie when he called your name softly, nudging your shoulder with his own.

“Sorry, what?” you questioned.

“I said I don’t write my own material”.

You shook your head in disbelief, laughing. “Well, looks like I’m out of ten bucks”.

“What?” Richie asked.

“I made a bet with Eddie. He said he refused to believe you wrote your own shit. I said you did”

“Oh” Richie said before smiling at you sheepishly “Sorry”.

“It’s fine” you said. Dutch courage allowed you to place your hand on top of Richie’s, that had been resting on the dining table, and give it a squeeze. “You owe me now though, Tozier”

Richie’s eyes appeared to sparkle as he stared into yours. Your mind, still hazy from the alcohol, couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion behind them. Despite that, the way he was staring at you made you feel warm.

Your thoughts were interrupted by another waiter entering the room and placing a bowl of fortune cookies in the middle of the table. You removed your hand from Richie’s, not noticing his low hum of disappointment and reached towards the bowl, grabbing a cookie for yourself and Richie.

“I got a fucking dot” You slurred loudly, looking at the small piece of paper you had removed from the cookie only moments ago. Richie began laughing at your drunk exclamation before he leaned over, his shoulder against yours, and looked at the paper noticing it was in fact a dot.

“Is it… what is it?” he said, confusion lacing his words. He cracked open his own cookie, noticing his paper only contained one word on it. Confusion and panic continued to spread throughout the room as everyone began to realise that there was something very wrong with the fortune cookies.

As Beverly passed her paper slip over, Bill laid out the sentence with your paper acting as a full stop.

Suddenly, the cookies began to shake, and Richie grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the table.

~

“I’ve never sobered up quicker in my life than just now, I think” you sighed, rubbing the palm of your hands into your eyes.

You were sitting in Richie’s car, with him driving the both of you back to the motel you had planned to stay at. He drove quickly, and you tried not to think about the amount of alcohol he had consumed during dinner. Though it was dark, you could still see the buildings of the town in which you had grown up in whiz past you as Richie weaved his way through the streets. Your hands began to shake and you held onto them, forcing them between your thighs to stop the motion. When they refused to comply, you reached into your bag, pulling out the packet of cigarettes you had purchased once you entered Derry and placing a cigarette between your lips. You opened the car windows.

“Mind if I smoke?” You asked and without waiting for Richie’s reply you lit the cigarette.

Richie stayed silent. He had never seen you as terrified as you were tonight, not even when you were all in the sewers as kids and fighting that thing.

Pennywise.

He shook the thought away, pulling up the car to park on the street in front of the old motel. You hadn’t realised he had exited the car until he opened your door for you, offering a hand to help you out. You took his hand, raising an eyebrow at his out of character behaviour. You decided to chalk it up to everything that had happened in the last hour as you threw your cigarette to the ground and followed Richie into the motel.

Once you had gathered all your bags you waited for Richie outside of his room, fiddling with the ring that was currently weighing heavily on your finger. You startled at the sound of Richie’s room door being tugged open harshly, with Richie stumbling out carrying a duffel bag.

“Give me your bags” he said, taking them from your hands before you could tell him not to.

He began to walk down the motel stairs leading to the lobby before he stopped, turning towards you with a pained look on his face.

“You okay?” you asked, a question that was rather relative considering the situation the both of you were in.

“Come with me” he said.

“I… I am. Aren’t I? You’re driving us to the airport, right?” you asked.

“What?” he questioned before shaking his head in realization, chuckling to himself lightly, though his brows were still furrowed in what seemed like fear. “No, I mean… Come home with me. I know we haven’t seen each other in forever but” he sighed, almost frustrated that he couldn’t verbalise what he wanted to say. “I want you to come home with me”.

He looked so desperately scared of your response that you wanted to cry. “Rich…”

“Right. Okay. Forget it. I’m gonna go fucking… I don’t know… something. Pretend I just said a verb. I’ll be downstairs” he mumbled to himself before jogging down the stairs before you could stop him.

You sighed, following him slowly.


	2. Two

“Richie” you called but stopped in your tracks when you saw Richie’s face. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern but his eyes were wide in fear. He stood near where Beverly and Ben sat. Beverly was cradling a cigarette between her fingers as though it was the only thing keeping her sane. It probably was.

“Richie” you repeated more softly. He turned towards you, his face not softening in the slightest as he stared back at you.

“She’s seen us all die” he exclaimed far too naturally.

You stopped in your tracks, shaking your head in confusion. After a moment, you stepped forward, taking Richie’s hand in your own. He accepted it despite what had happened on the motel floor above. You stared at him with wide eyes, attempting to communicate your confusion and need for more information. He shook his head in return, appearing just as confused as you were.

“What did I miss?” Eddie said from behind you, as he came down the stairs.

“I think we’re going to be staying the night after all, Eds” you said, giving him a sad smile.

~

The sound of an old wall clock echoed throughout the room in which you were laying. The bed beneath you was hard and creaked every time you moved. You wondered how thin the walls were and how long it would take Eddie or Richie to complain about the sound if they were. Both of their rooms were next to your own.

Easy access you thought and then quickly pushed such a thought away. You definitely ruined the chance of that with Richie the minute you decided to not reply to his… confession of love? Offer of accommodation? You didn’t really know what it was and hence you hadn’t replied accordingly. Irritated at your inability to fall asleep, you kicked your legs around the side of the bed and stood up, making your way down to the motel bar.

You walked slowly down the stairs, trying not to wake anyone with the creaks it made. As you rounded the doorframe leading to the bar, you saw Richie already sitting on one of the bar stools. His hair was messy and he wore a grey t-shirt and black boxer shorts. He was nursing a glass of some kind of brown spirit in his hand. In his other hand he rested his head, which he was rubbing slightly. It was as though he was attempting to rub away the thoughts which seemed to be plaguing him.

“Can’t sleep either?” you asked, placing a smile on your lips that did not really reach your eyes.

Richie turned to you, humming in response and turning back to the bar as he downed the rest of his drink.

“Are you mad at me?” You asked, moving to sit next to him at the bar.

“What? No! No, of course not. I’m just… embarrassed I guess” He replied.

You raised an eyebrow at his comment, and he continued.

“I mean I see you again after, what, twenty something years and the first thing I do is ask you to move in with me?”

“You were never great at subtlety to be fair, Rich” You smirked, and he began to crack a smile, shaking his head.

“Trashmouth Tozier, that’s me” he said quietly, pouring himself another drink. He raised the bottle to you with a questioning look and you nodded, grabbing a glass from behind the bar. He poured you a drink, the two of you locking eyes as you took a swig. You hissed at the burn of the alcohol as it made its way down your throat and Richie smiled.

“You know I didn’t actually give you an answer” you said, looking down at the wood of the bar and tapping your nails upon it.

Richie turned his head to you slightly, glass hovering near his lips as he raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t. I just assumed…”.

“I’m engaged” you blurted out.

“Oh” You saw his jaw tighten and you wished you could kiss the tension away.

“I wish I wasn’t”.

“Oh?” he questioned. He had refused to break eye contact with you throughout this entire exchange. You wished he would make a move. Yes, you were engaged but it was true, you wished you weren’t. Coming back to Derry had made you realise just how much you cared for Richie.

You hesitantly broke eye contact with him, looking down at your hand that was tapping on the bar. The large diamond ring on your finger felt tighter than it once had, as though it was a tourniquet. You squeezed it off, placing it on the bar. You hadn’t noticed, but Richie had been watching each of your actions rather closely.

“Nice ring. Is he rich?” Richie stated, grabbing the ring off the bar. He brought the gold band closer to his eyes, an action that was unnecessary considering the strength of the glasses that sat upon his face. As he sat there inspecting your engagement ring, you considered swiping it back off him. You considered how a normal person would react, or at least how someone in love with their fiancé would behave. A normal person would have grabbed the ring back, chastising the thief. She would have left the bar at which she was currently sitting. The bar where she was currently having a drink with a childhood lost love – unbeknownst to her fiancé. She also would not be thinking about going back to said lost love’s motel room, or perhaps the bar’s restroom, with this lost love.

You decided, however, that you weren’t a normal person and therefore replied “Why do you assume it’s a man?”.

Richie stared at you curiously, some strange thoughts lingering behind the face he made, before he shook his head and laughed.

“Personally, I would have bought a bigger diamond” He smirked, snapping himself out of his previous state. You laughed with him.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as Richie poured you both another drink. You downed yours immediately, staring at Richie as he did the same. His jawline was more prominent due to the action, stubble lining it in a way that gave you butterflies. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to kiss him.

The alcohol within your system had once again eased your inhibitions.

You broke the silence. “I would’ve gone with you. On that plane. I would’ve.”

Richie stared at you for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

“I missed you” you continued.

“We can still go…” He started but you interrupted him.

“No we can’t. If… if it’s back, we can’t leave the rest of the gang here to stop it. Especially since Stan…” You trailed off, your eyes beginning water at the memory of your friend. You hadn’t seen him in twenty years. You didn’t even know what he looked like as an adult. Yet you mourned him. You felt his death in the pit of your stomach and the centre of your heart.

Richie rubbed your back comfortingly, his other hand grabbing yours. He moved closer to you and you could feel the warmth radiating off his body. His presence calming you, you smiled at him, wiping a few tears that rested on your cheek with your free hand

“Sorry” you whispered. “I think I’ve had a bit too much to drink tonight”.

He removed his hand from yours to tuck a lose strand of your hair behind your ear, his hand lingering at your cheek for a moment.

“You should head to bed” he said, continuing to rub circles on your back.

“No. I don’t want to be alone right now” you said as your pleading eyes met Richie’s.

“I could…”

“Please. Stay in my room” you answered and Richie took in a deep breath, nodding slightly and blinking a bit too fast.

You pretended that you didn’t notice Richie putting your ring into his pant pocket.

You took Richie’s hand into yours and led him out of the bar and up the motel stairs to the door of your motel room. He stepped heavily on the stairs, causing a loud creek to echo throughout the motel. You turned to him, trying to contain your laughter, and shushed him. He gave you an apologetic smile, running his thumb along your hand that he was holding. You looked away from him, almost embarrassed by the intimacy of such an action. You weren’t sure why, but ever since arriving in Derry you felt like you were a teenager again. You quietly continued your way up the stairs, as though you were trying to sneak a boy into your home without your parents noticing.

You placed your hand on the door handle, noticing how much it was shaking in anticipation.

Anticipation of what? You thought We never agreed on doing anything.

But you knew what all of your and Richie’s actions up until this point were. The dancing around each other. The light touches and innuendos. Everything tonight had been leading up to something. Something you wished you had done when you were younger. Something you almost did the night before you left Derry. The night before you left Richie. However, something had always stopped the two of you. Whether it was Bill bursting through a bedroom door, or an urgent call from a parent. So close yet so far. That is what Richie Tozier had always been to you.

“You alright?” Richie asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. His hand was resting on the small of your back now, his breath fanning over the back of your neck. Goosebumps rose along your neck as you nodded, opening the door.

Richie looked down the hallway quickly, like a guilty teenager, before following you inside your room. He shut the door and stood near it, rocking back and forth on his feet. You looked at him and rolled your eyes at his awkwardness. All talk and no walk. Typical Tozier.

“Are you gonna… come over here?” You asked, standing next to your bed.

Richie opened his mouth to reply before shutting it again, walking over to sit on the end of your bed. You moved to stand in front of him and his gaze followed you, finally landing on your face.

He placed one of his large hands on your hip as you placed one of your knees on the bed, next to one of Richie’s legs. As you began to move the other leg in order to straddle the man, you lost balance - almost falling on top of him. Richie quickly grabbed you, holding you up as you giggled.

“Sorry” you laughed “The alcohol”.

“Are you sure you want to-“

You interrupted him by finally straddling him, your lips leaving soft wet kisses along his jaw and neck. Richie let out a deep groan and you placed your arms around him, clawing slightly at his back and shoulders. Leaving a final kiss on his throat, you moved back up to his face, tracing your nose along his cheek until you hovered your lips near his. He tried to move forward to kiss you but you moved back, giggling at his sigh of disappointment.

“All these years I’ve been waiting for this, and you’re gonna tease me?” he asked, his voice low and quiet.

“You couldn’t even remember who I was until tonight” you teased.

He shook his head “I never forgot you. I forgot most things but I didn’t forget you. I didn’t forget this”.

Richie reached forward again and this time you let him connect his lips with yours. The kiss wasn’t as soft as you had expected but it was just as satisfying. Richie let out a deep breath from his nose and a soft moan from his mouth which was muffled by your own. You stopped the kiss for a moment to take off his glasses and put them on the bed side table before kissing him again.

The kisses were slower than before and Richie’s hands roamed up and down your back. His hand snuck underneath your shirt and you shivered as the cold air of the room hit your bare skin. Suddenly he flipped you over so you were on your back and he laid between your legs, his arms supporting himself beside your head in order to not crush you. He continued to kiss you, one hand creeping down to linger on the skin of your stomach and push up your night shirt slightly. He began to kiss down your neck, stopping to breath in the perfume at the base of it.

Just as your hands began to explore the skin on Richie’s stomach he stopped, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut as he moved himself off of you to sit on the edge of the bed. You began to panic, running your fingers through your hair to move it from your face. You calmed down, however, as you watched Richie from behind. His back rose and fell with his slowing breaths. You tried to not think about how broad his shoulders looked under his tight, grey t-shirt.

You followed him, sitting up and reaching your arms around his stomach to hug him from behind.

“Are you okay?” You asked, resting your head on his shoulder.

He placed his hand on top of yours, nodding.

“Yeah it’s just… you’re drunk and engaged and there’s a creepy murderous clown after us” he laughed sadly “I think it would be in bad taste to fuck you right now”.

You swallowed down any arousal that threatened to come up at his vulgarity and nodded your head in agreement. So close and yet so far. Perhaps you were doomed to be stuck in this limbo forever. Perhaps you were already dead and in hell and this is your punishment for the sins you committed on Earth.

Oh well you thought Could be worse.

“Right” you said moving away from him and he looked back at you, appearing scared of how you might react. “You’re right, this is a bad idea”.

“I’ll go if you want?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Stay. Please. If you’re comfortable with that I just-“

“Yeah I’ll stay. I want to stay” He said.

You laid down on your side, facing away from Richie as he laid down next to you. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling as you stared at the wall.

“Do you remember the night before you left for New York” he said into the darkness of the room.

“Of course” you replied, still facing away from him.

“That was the worst night of my life, and I’ve been mugged” he said and you laughed.

“You’ve also been pursued by an evil clown” you reminded him.

“Oh yeah. Forgot about that”.

“Really?” you questioned.

“No” he replied.

The two of you laid in silence until you finally broke it once more.

“Can you hold me?” you asked. You hadn’t planned on sounding so broken when making such a request, but the crack in your voice revealed more than enough to Richie.

He turned to lay on his side, his arm reaching over your body to rest gently around your waist. You pulled him in closer, kissing his hand gently before placing his hand upon your heart. He rested his face near your hair, breathing in deeply to take in your scent. He knew that realistically you didn’t smell the same. A different shampoo and a different perfume scent lingered on your body. But it was still you and he promised to commit this smell to memory.

“Hey Y/N?” Richie said.

“Yeah”

“Do you think if we did fuck and Pennywise turned up, he would like… wait in the corner and watch a bit before he attacked us” he asked.

You groaned into your pillow in disbelief.

“Beep Beep Richie”.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing, Sexual Situations (not smut)
> 
> Notes: Thank you all for all of the kind words about the previous parts!! It honestly motivates me to write so much :) Again, I’d love to hear what you guys think of this! Hope you enjoy. (

You felt a heavy weight around your waist and a light snoring from behind you. You panicked for a moment before remembering the events of the night before. Smiling to yourself you turned around to face the tall man who was still sleeping soundly in your bed. You raised a hand to his cheek, feeling his stubble beneath your fingers. He let out a sigh, still within the blissfulness of a dream, and you tucked some of his hair behind his ear. He blinked his eyes awake. Confusion, like yours, had laced his features before he realised where he was. At the realisation he smiled, pulling you closer into his chest and resting his face within your hair.

“Morning” he mumbled, still drowsy from sleep

“Sleep well?” You asked, your hand against his chest. You felt him nod above you, his grip tight around your shoulders now. He held you to him like he never wanted you to let you go. You hoped he wouldn’t. There was a strong protectiveness about him now that you had only seen briefly before. You remembered when you were younger and he almost pummelled a boy for making comments about your body. He could never fight; he didn’t have the coordination. However, every now and then a strong need to protect others burst through him. It was in those moments that you liked him best.

“Yeah I slept fine. Why are you laughing?” he asked suspiciously as you chucked at the memories of your childhood with the man. They rushed into your mind like a flood. However, unlike the memories that came back to you when you entered Derry, these were pleasant. These memories were of feather light touches and words as sweet as sugar. Memories of the man you left behind to pursue your dreams outside of Maine.

“Just thought about how much of a dweeb you looked with those glasses when you were a kid” you said, and he feigned injury at your words.

“Bullying Y/N? Really? That’s low. Especially considering the fact that you tried to fuck me last ni-“

You cut him off by reaching up to his face and placing your lips against his. He accepted the gesture immediately, kissing you back deeply. You tilted your head, allowing his tongue access into your mouth. His hand rested on your jaw as his thumb rubbed it lightly.

After a moment you pulled away, smiling up at him. He smiled back at you. “Beep Beep Richie, yeah?”

“Yeah” Richie said, continuing to beam at you. His eyes were glazed over and that dumb smile he had refused to leave his face. You both had almost forgotten why you were in this motel in the first place. Almost.

~

You had laid with Richie in bed for at least thirty more minutes, chatting about your lives in Derry and your lives now, all whilst Richie drew figures on your back with his fingers. His other hand was entangled with yours. Every now and again he would untangle himself to play with your fingers, his hands almost comically large when placed next to yours.

“I’ve seen all of your movies the day they came out” Richie admitted, placing a feathery kiss upon your forehead.

“You have not” you laughed into his chest.

“Scouts honor!” He replied “Every single one. Why wouldn’t I?”.

“And what is your professional opinion of my work?” you asked, looking up at him.

He looked at the ceiling for a moment, thinking carefully. When he finally looked down at you, a wide grin graced his face and he replied “Meh”.

You hit his chest lightly, laughing.

“I’m just kidding. They were all great. Even that one that the critics said was too self-gratuitous”.

You cringed at the memory and Richie rubbed your shoulder encouragingly.

“Still” He said “Y/N Y/L/N the director. I always knew you’d make it”.

You smiled up at him, and he at you, before you lifted your head to leave a light peck on his lips. Whilst your memories of Richie grew hazier the further you moved away from Derry; you still felt an internal force driving you to achieve your dreams for his sake. You had left him to deal with your absence alone in Derry until he finally moved away, chasing his own dreams and desires. You felt terrible about leaving him at the time - and, not surprisingly, you felt the same way now.

You remembered the insecurity and doubt you had felt when you first arrived in New York. So many times you had wanted to give up on your dreams to work in the film industry. So often you had thought that pursuing a nine-to-five job would be much easier than working your ass off for no reward and even less money.

However, these thoughts always ended with a pull at your heart and a voice within you that screamed

“Do it for him. Make him proud.”.

For a while you thought the Him might have been God. You quickly realised however that if such a being did exist, he would be too busy to be concerned with your career aspirations. People are starving on an abundant planet and are dying of curable diseases Y/N, you thought to yourself, God is probably more concerned with that. It was only when that taxi had passed the sign, Welcome to Derry!, that you had finally realised who the Him was. And when you remembered, you couldn’t believe that you had forgotten.

~

Seventeen years old was a strange age, you always thought. Away from the sweet sixteens and too far from the looming adulthood of eighteen, seventeen was an age of awkwardness. Your future, something you had been forced to consider (and worse, plan for) in the last few months since turning seventeen hovered over you like a cloud before a thunderstorm. It taunted you with the uncertainty of just how chaotic it could turn out to be. And yet, as you sat in the movie theatre with Richie sitting next to you watching some trashy nineties film, the clouds had seemed to clear. In fact, the sky was blue and there was a nice breeze blowing through your mind. You were the calmest you had felt in months.

Calm before the storm. A voice within your head whispered, but you paid it no mind, reaching into the bucket of popcorn which sat in Richie’s lap.

“I don’t know why you get to hold the popcorn” you whispered, irritated.

“You’ll understand once you get to the bottom of the bucket” Richie said and winked at you.

You furrowed your brow in confusion before the innuendo clicked and you gagged. Richie laughed loudly before being shushed by two men in the row in front of you. One of the men, the one who looked much more irritated at Richie’s outburst than the other, had his arm secured around the other man’s shoulders. The other man whispered to the irritated one. He spoke in hushed tones and smiles, and you watched as the irritated man’s tensed shoulders began to relax. Thank god, you thought, the last thing I need is Richie getting the shit kicked out of him. Finally, the calmer man left a kiss upon the other man’s cheek, causing the irritated man to unwrinkle his forehead and smile. It was the kind of smile that reached your whole face. The kind of smile that softens the eyes and weighs down the eyelids. There were only two reasons people smiled like that; they had smoked just the right amount of weed or they were looking at the love of their life.

You smiled at the actions of the men (though the smile was not as strong as the one currently plastered on the man’s face), before moving your gaze back to Richie. The boy was staring at the couple, eyes wide but not due to shock or fear. He continued to stare at them, the movie on the screen no longer of importance to him. His gaze only broke when he noticed your own upon him. He quickly looked back at the screen, stuffing his mouth full of popcorn.

“I can’t believe people actually spent money making this trash“ he tried to whisper; his mouth still full. Bits of chewed up popcorn jumped out from between his lips as though they were trying to escape their fate within his gut. “You could’ve have made something a thousand times better. I mean, I’ve read your scripts, and even your shit ones are better than this”.

You snorted. “Thanks Richie, I think” you said, and reached into the bucket for another handful of popcorn.

~

“So, this Fiancé” Richie said cautiously, and you felt yourself being yanked from your thoughts viciously. Your body froze and you knew Richie had felt your sudden rigidness as he began biting his lip nervously. “Sorry” he said “I just-“

“No. Its okay.” You replied. “We should… talk about this, I guess”.

“What’s his name?” he asked.

“David Johnson” you answered.

“David Johnson” he repeated, though his tone was mocking the man despite not being in his presence. You rolled your eyes at his childishness. “So, what’s his deal?”.

“He’s an actor” you said, and Richie scoffed.

“Why haven’t I seen him in anything then?” Richie said, raising an eyebrow.

“He’s a failed actor. He self-sabotages, you know? Every time he gets a role he fucks it up by turning up to set late or drunk or both” you rambled and you could hear Richie sigh from above you.

“Is that why you don’t want to be engaged to him” he asked.

You thought for a moment, wondering whether it was worth mentioning all the things he had done. All it took was a kiss on your head from Richie to let the flood gate open. “Partly” you said, “Also because I caught him screwing his agent in her office”.

A silence fell between the two of you. Richie was shaking his head, running his hand through his hair in frustration. You could tell he wanted to blow. He wanted to rant about your piece of shit Fiancé and how he was going to regret ever fucking with you.

He chose instead to take in a deep breath and attempt to diffuse the situation within his own mind with what he knew how to do best; joke about it. “Actor, Alcoholic and Adulterer. Wow, he’s a triple threat”. You could hear the bitterness in his voice.

Richie had never approved of the men you took interest in, even if they appeared to be God’s gift. Once, as a teen, you told him you thought River Phoenix was cute and from that point he had refused to see any movie he was in. You still weren’t sure if he had ever seen Stand By Me. However, this was different. He had good reasons to hate the man. And so did you.

You sat up and Richie’s face was painted with disappointment until he looked into your eyes. They were serious, gazing into his. The last time you had looked at him like this, you were about to leave for New York. You had stared into his eyes, just like this, and said you would see him again soon. “It’ll only be a few years; it’ll be over before you know it” you had said.

Your voice, low but strong, shook Richie from his thoughts. “I’m going to break up with him. If we don’t die trying to kill that fucking clown, I’m going to do it” you said, and Richie hoped that this time you would keep your promise.

Suddenly, you heard a banging at your motel door. You jumped slightly and groaned when you realised it was just Bill. “Y/N get up! We’re going to go meet Mike!”.

“Fine! Give me a minute to get ready” you yelled back as a reply.

Richie stared at you, his eyes shifting from a softness to a tightness that could only indicate fear was rising within him. The loud knocking of Bill’s hand upon your door had blown away the veil of comfort you and Richie had wrapped around yourselves within your motel room. This wasn’t a school reunion. You were here to kill a clown or die trying.

“We need to get dressed” Richie said. Just as he began to sit up, he scrunched up his face in irritation.

“What?” you asked.

“My clothes… are next door” he replied. The bliss of being held in each other’s arms had rendered you both temporarily amnesic it seemed.

You shook your head, taking a moment to think. You had no issue with the rest of the gang knowing that you and Richie had spent a night together in your motel room. Nothing had technically happened anyway. However, the questions and prying would be way too much to handle this early in the morning. Plus, there were more important things to spend your energy on, like that fucking clown. “I’ll keep watch at the door, and you can sneak out?” you suggested and Richie nodded his head, following you off the bed.

“I feel like a fucking teenager again” Richie said and you shushed him.

You opened the door just enough that you could gaze out of it and into the hallway of the motel. Seeing no one, you opened the door a bit wider and stuck your head out to get a better look. Seeing that it was completely clear, you turned around in order to motion to Richie that he could leave. As you turned, you bumped directly into his chest. He was standing right behind you, his hand now on your waist. You whispered a quiet “Fuckin’ hell Rich” and he smiled down at you apologetically.

You pulled the door completely open, allowing Richie to walk past you through the door frame and out into the hall. He stood there for a moment and you looked at him, confused as to why he hadn’t run to his room yet. Finally, he turned around towards you. Just as you were about to question him, he pulled you by your waist towards him and brought you into a passionate kiss. You accepted the kiss, kissing him back just as deeply, however your mind was still panicking at the thought of being caught.

He pulled back for only a moment before placing his face into your neck, kissing along the length of it sloppily. You considered pushing him back, but when reached the junction between your neck and shoulder and left a soft bite there you decided instead to shut your eyes and place your hand against his chest. His hands moved from your waist to your ass, and he pulled the bottom half of your body towards his. So he won’t do this in private, but he’ll do it in the middle of a motel hallway you thought. Such thoughts were cut short by Richie grinding himself into you, clearly excited by the current situation. You let out a gasp which Richie intercepted with his mouth once again, connecting his lips with yours in a kiss.

Another gasp was heard within that hallway. At first, you thought it was Richie. However, when his movements stilled and he removed his lips from your own, you realised it was most definitely not. Looking to your left, Eddie stood just outside of his motel door. His mouth was open in shock; his eyes wide. His hand was still on the handle of his room door, frozen. Richie considered running back into your room, but it was too late, Eddie had seen him. He had seen more than just Richie, in fact. You were not sure if Eddie had seen all of it, but he had definitely seen enough. “I fucking knew it!” he said, laughing to himself.

Shaking his head in disbelief, he began to make his way down the hall and past the two of you, towards the stairs. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that for my own sake” he said, moving quickly “but I am definitely going to hold it against you. Forever!”.

Both you and Richie were frozen in place, watching the small man jet past you and down to the others who were waiting in the lobby. To the eye that was untrained in Richie Tozier’s library of facial expressions, the face he was currently displaying would have merely appeared neutral. His mouth was closed into a thin line and his eyes, while wide, were not crying out with any particular thoughts or feelings. However, you had known Richie long enough to know that he was not thrilled about what had just happened. The face he wore was not just one of embarrassment. You had seen Richie embarrassed and he was much more bashful than this. No, it was more shameful than that. More apologetic. It was sadder.

You reached out towards him, but he backed away. He shook his head and his expression changed almost too quickly, as though he had pressed the reset button on his brain. “I should go get dressed. They’re waiting for us”. And with that he disappeared into his room, leaving you alone in the hallway for the second time in two days.


	4. Four

“Where the huh-huh-hell is he?” Bill remarked, running a hand through his hair. He paced around the bar room, a slight glisten materialising upon his brow.

You stood within the same room beside Eddie, with Beverly and Ben sitting down on lounges not far from the two of you.

“Maybe he lost track of time. Maybe he got distracted…” Eddie trailed off, looking towards you. His face did not reveal his insinuation to any of the other members of the gang, but you knew what he was implying. You looked at him with a stern expression, a silent cue for him to shut the fuck up before I kick your ass Kaspbrack. He took the hint, quickly shifting his gaze from you to the clock which sat upon the wall just in front of the two of you. It was now ten past ten, almost fifteen minutes since you had made your way down to the others and at least twenty since Bill had called you down. What the hell was he-

“Sorry, sorry. I’m here” Richie announced, making his way down the stairs. He was still zipping up the fly of his jeans. His dishevelled appearance, including messy hair and a shirt that was half tucked in, made it seem as though he was just caught in the act. Well, that was almost true you supposed.

“Yeah well its not like we’re in a ru-ru-rush or any-thu-thu-thing” Bill remarked.

“Alright well I was taking a crap okay? You happy now? Let me just adjust my bowel movements to killer clown fighting times. Does nine A.M work for you, Bill?”

Beverly and Ben groaned at Richie’s crudeness. Eddie gave you a quick smirk and you nudged him with your shoulder, an action that you had used as a child to shut the boy up.

“Alright Rich, just sit down” Ben said and for once, Richie obeyed his order, sitting beside Beverly in a free chair. You and Eddie remained standing. 

“Nuh-Now that everyone’s here” Bill said, taking a moment to give a stern look to Richie. Richie looked around before lifting his palms in a surrender and muttering come on man to himself. You felt bad for the man, considering it was partly your fault. “Mike wants us to muh-meet him. Suh-Says he has something he wants to show uh-us”.

“So I guess Beverly you could come with me…” Ben started, however the doubt seeping through his words made it sound more like a question. Beverly nodded her head and Ben suddenly perked up, smiling and almost forgetting he was in the middle of a statement. “Uh, Eddie can go with Bill and Y/N with Rich?”.

Richie opened his mouth but before he could say anything Eddie spoke. “Sounds good. We better get a move on; Mike has probably been waiting for ages” He said and looked towards Richie, almost mimicking Bill.

“Oh my god, just crucify me already for the sin of taking my morning dump. You know if I had remembered how anal you guys are about everything, I never would have come back here!” Richie yelled out towards the gang, who were already almost out of the front door of the motel. You stared at the man who was still sitting down within the bar chair, raising an eyebrow at his outburst. He finally looked towards you, before standing up and gesturing you to go before him; towards the front door. “We better go” he said, and you nodded your head, making your way towards the exit.

~

Richie had driven the two of you in silence for what felt like hours, but had probably only been about ten minutes. The only sound between the two of you was the radio, which had begun to play an old country song before Richie let out a sound of disgust and turned the radio off - the silence between the two of you even more deafening now. You had considered, multiple times, beginning a conversation about what had happened this morning. However, every time you had meant to start talking, a thick lump formed in your throat and you choked on your words, never releasing a sound.

“I’m sorry about this morning” Richie said suddenly, his eyes still on the road. “I was all… worked up and then I saw Eddie standing there and I freaked out. I didn’t mean to just leave you there-“

“It’s fine” you said and allowed the silence to once again fill the vehicle in which you sat. Richie allowed it for a moment also before shaking his head.

“It’s not fine though. I mean, you’re upset. And like, rightfully so. I just-“ he began before you interrupted him.

“It’s just this hot and cold shit, Richie. This is just like what it was between us as kids. One minute, your asking me to come live with you and the next you’re running away. One minute you’re all over me, the next you wont even let me touch you. This is just like-“ you started and stopped yourself.

Richie’s gaze finally moved from the road to your face, a stern expression (which Richie rarely wore) sat upon his own. “Like what?” he asked quietly. A harsh quiet. “Like what?”.

“Like the night before I left for New York. I mean… I wanted you to tell me not to go”

“Did I not!? Did I not repeatedly tell you to not go!?” he almost yelled, his grip tightening significantly on the car’s steering wheel.

“I don’t mean like that I mean… you know… ‘More Than Words’” you said.

“Do not quote shitty nineties songs at me right now” he said, his grip on the steering wheel was still tight, however his voice was calmer now and his gaze remained on the road. “Do you know how much I regret not telling you how I felt that night? It was all I could think about. Twenty years of fucking replaying that shit in my head”.

“Richie” you said softly, barely realising his name had left your mouth. His confession revealed to you a rare vulnerability that you knew he tried not to show often. The amount of times he had deflected serious talks with jokes and jabs was countless. However, every time he told you how he really felt, your heart melted.

You placed your hand on his thigh, the rough material of his jeans beneath your fingers. His body tensed to your touch and you cursed yourself for the way you had spoken to him before. He was scared. You were both scared. You had barely thought of the man until a day ago when all your feelings for him had struck you in the chest- almost quite literally - as the resurfacing of your memories had caused such a feeling inside you. It had caused a sick feeling within you, yes, which had resulted in you throwing up on a main road out of a taxi. However, it had also caused a squeezing in your chest, a longing that had not quite dispersed out of your body until your eyes had fixed onto Richie in that Chinese restaurant yesterday.

“Why are we fighting like we’re teenagers again” you asked softly, not necessarily to Richie. He answered you anyway.

“Its this fucking town, Y/N. You step into it and suddenly you’re sixteen again and getting random boners all the time or whatever” Richie stated.

You turned your head slowly towards him and opened your mouth to respond before shutting it again. “I think that’s a you problem, Richie. I don’t blame Derry for that” you finally replied.

Richie hummed for a moment, in thought perhaps, and you smiled - staring out of the windows at the passing trees which had become more numerous. Wherever Mike was taking you was away from the main town strip. Despite this, you felt a bubble of excitement within you at whatever was waiting there. You weren’t particularly sure why.

“I think its Pennywise’s fault” you said suddenly, and Richie looked from the road to you, his eyebrow slightly raised.

“You think Pennywise is causing my random boners?” Richie asked and you rolled your eyes, shaking your head at his response.

“No the feeling of like… becoming a teenager again. We left here and essentially forgot about this place right? So maybe… I don’t know… now these memories are coming back and making us remember who we were then” you tried to explain, your hands moving around violently to emphasise your poorly worded points. Richie watched you, his eyes off the road, and he smiled. You turned to meet his gaze once you had noticed it and smiled sheepishly, shifting your gaze away in embarrassment.

“What?” you asked, shifting slightly in your seat.

“Nothing” he said quickly, his eyes moving to the road but a smile still upon his lips. “I mean, yeah uh, yeah you’re probably right. That fucking clown is probably the cause of most of the shit that goes down in this town”.

You nod your head, agreeing with Richie’s reply to your theory. Richie’s GPS indicated that you had arrived at the location Mike told you to meet. You watched Richie’s face as it changed, his jaw tightening as he pulled the car over to the side of the road, parking it. The sound of the engine turning off reached your ears only seconds later, however both you and Richie remained in the car. Richie continued to stare out of the front window, eyebrows furrowed in a harsh stare.

“We should probably get going… Mike will be waiting for us-“ you started but were interrupted by Richie’s exasperated voice.

“What if I don’t want to remember?” he said, his eyes shut tight as he shook his head. You sat within the silence following his statement, waiting for him to continue. “I mean Mike said he’s taking us out here, to the fucking middle of the woods, to help us remember stuff, right? What if I don’t wanna remember. What if I’ve already remembered enough stuff to realise I don’t wanna remember any more”.

Richie finally opened his eyes, turning his head and allowing you to gaze at him. His eyes were pleading a silent plea that you had seen before, but you couldn’t remember where or when.

His eyes said that he wanted you to tell him it was alright for the both of you to leave. He wanted you to tell him that he wasn’t a coward, he was a genius and this wasn’t his responsibility at all. He wanted you to say “You know what Rich? You’re right! Start this car right now and take me back to your house. Fuck Derry! Oh, by the way, I broke up with my Fiancé last night, so we can go and get eloped right now in Vegas if you’d like? But before we do that, why don’t we stop off at a hotel, preferably one outside of Derry, and finally screw each other!”. He wanted you to realise that both of you surviving past the next week wasn’t just an option, it was something he needed. He needed it because he hadn’t begun fearing death again (not since he was eighteen) until he had met your gaze in that restaurant yesterday. He wanted you both out of here. Out of Derry. Out of reach of It.

He also wanted you to do none of those things, because you knew it wasn’t what he really wanted. He knew it wasn’t what you wanted either. You couldn’t abandon your friends; he knew you would never do that. He didn’t want to do it either. The thought of anything happening to Eddie…or Bill or Mike or Bev or Ben scared him to death. And he knew that you knew that.

As you stared back at Richie, and into those eyes screaming his silent pleas, you remembered where you had seen those eyes before.

~

“New York is shit anyway; I don’t know why you even wanna go there” Richie said. Despite being the young age of eighteen, his tone resembled that of an old businessman who had travelled often for work. The kind of man who preferred a vacation in Florida. The kind of man whose talents were sales, golf and tax evasion.

The two of you were laying in your childhood bed. You had your head resting gently upon his chest, as he held you tightly around the shoulder with one of his arms. His other hand lay behind his head as he stared up at your white ceiling. Your bedroom door was shut, which your parents had only started allowing since you had turned eighteen. Your father still didn’t agree with it. Despite this, there was always the chance one of your parents could burst into the room unannounced, so both you kept vigilant. The cuddling was innocent, of course, but they would not see it that way.

“What? Do you prefer LA or something?” You asked, almost rhetorically.

“Yeah I think I might” he said looking down towards you, laying upon his chest. You looked up at him, his hand behind his head and yours on his chest and around his waist, and you smiled.

“Since when have you been a West Coast guy?” you asked.

“Since forever! There’s still a lot you don’t know about me, doll” he said, his voice mirroring that of Elvis Presley as he spoke the pet name. You groaned and rolled your eyes but smiled at the boy. You had always loved his stupid voices. His smile turned downwards ever so slightly and you frowned. “That’s why you shouldn’t leave”.

“Don’t ruin the mood again Richie” you replied, sighing.

“You’ll leave and become this big successful director and you’ll forget about me. But I won’t forget about you. And one day you’ll see me on the street in New York as you’re walking into your building and I’ll call your name and you’ll say ‘sorry I’m in a rush, no autographs’! Or worse, you’ll chuck some change at me!” he ranted and you shushed him, worried your parents would burst through your bedroom door and kick Richie out for trying to seduce you or something.

“I’m not going to forget you, okay Trashmouth? How could I forget someone as annoying as you?” you teased and he frowned, grabbing your cheek between his finger and thumb and squeezing it lightly with the hand that was once behind his head.

“I’m gonna miss your squishy cheeks” he said softly. You almost melted at the out of character sweetness of his actions. “All four of them” he finished.

And there it was.

You swatted his hand away as he laughed at his own joke. He continued to reach for your cheeks, and you continued to fight his hands away, trying to grab at his wrists. Frustrated by his persistence, you lifted yourself up to sit above him, straddling his lap between your thighs and pinning his wrists with your hands beside his head. You stared down at him, smiling triumphantly at your victory. Your smile began to drop as you noticed the serious expression he wore upon his face. His breathing was heavy and his cheeks were dusted with a faint pink you had rarely seen before. You both stared at each other, the only movement between the two of you being the rapid blinking of both of your eyelids. Finally, you released your grip on Richie’s wrists, beginning to sit up before he followed you, placing his hands behind your head and pulling you back down into his lips. He kissed you deeply, tilting his head and moaning at the feeling of your lips upon his. Finally. You kissed him back just as deeply, your hands going straight to his hair and losing yourself within it, tugging and pulling.

You both pulled back when you no longer had enough air and once again stared at each other. His eyes, they called out to you with a plea. You know what he wanted to say.

‘Stay. Don’t leave. I want you to stay with me here, please.’

And you would. If he said it, you would do it. You just needed him to say it.

“Y/N I…” he started.

Suddenly, your bedroom door flew open.

~

“Tell me what you wanted to tell me before I left for New York” you said and Richie began blinking nervously, shaking his head slightly.

“What? Why?” he asked.

“Because I need to hear you say it” you replied and he sighed, running his hand down his face.

“Uh, okay well… what I was planning to say was that I love you. I don’t know if an eighteen-year-old can really know what love is but to be fair I’m much older now and still don’t know. But I know that when I’m around you, I feel like I could do anything. Like, I feel as though I could do a stadium comedy tour with my own material if I knew you were waiting for me backstage. And I want to go do stupid shit with you like… go shopping at Ikea for a bookshelf or something. Stuff that middle-aged people do. I want to go to Amsterdam with you and get high and walk around the streets holding onto each other and thinking we’ve had a stroke because everyone around us is speaking weird English which is actually just Dutch” he continued to speak, a smile across his face until he looked at you, a stern expression growing upon his face slowly. “And I want to kill this stupid clown and I want us to do it together so that when all this shit is over, we can move on with our lives. Together”.

You stared at the man in disbelief. That wave of memories that had hit you so strongly at the restaurant yesterday, the wave that had literally swept you off your feet, was all Richie. It was as though being within his proximity flipped a switch within your brain, causing all these memories and emotions to flow freely. You had been consumed by the thought of his love when you were a child, you had been consumed by it yesterday and today, once again, it had almost swallowed you up whole. You continued to stare at him, mouth slightly agape.

“Please say something” Richie said, tapping his knee with his hand nervously.

You reached over to Richie and his nervousness seemed to fade. He moved his head towards you also, meeting you halfway in a soft kiss. Your hand rested upon his jaw and his upon yours. He cradled your head as you kissed, the softness of his lips leaving tingles throughout your body. You moved away from his lips ever so slightly, your noses still touching and your thumb still rubbing the stubble on his cheek lovingly.

“Once we’re done with Mike’s thing here, I’m calling my Fiancé, okay?” you said and Richie smiled widely, rubbing his nose gently on yours.

“Okay” he replied.


	5. Five

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

The flick of a lighter was heard just prior to the sound of your frustrated groan. How could it be almost empty? You had just bought it. The vast amount of use it had had in the last few days could be the source of the problem, you thought. Finally, after a few more desperate attempts, it ignites. The soft glow of the flame reflected onto the hand that held it. Your hold was so tight you thought it may well crumble the lighter eventually. The end of your cigarette is then lit, and it burns a little bit brighter by you sucking the smoke from the other end.

Breathe in. Hold it for a moment. Hold it until you’re light headed and ready to cough your guts out. Then breathe out.

The smoke rushes out of your lipstick painted lips, dispersing throughout the room. You were sat upon your motel room bed, cross legged and nursing the freshly lit cigarette between your fingers. It had called out to you today, all day, but especially after what had happened that afternoon.

You shook the thought of the events away, taking another long drag. It wasn’t weed but it would have to do. It would calm you down for now. Your other hand nursed your mobile phone, a number already ready to ring on the screen. Taking one more quick drag, you pressed the call button, bringing the phone to your ear.

It only rung twice before he picked up.

“I was wondering when you were going to call” the voice spoke through the phone. You tensed at it, a scowl beginning to form on your face as the voice spoke. Smug. Always so smug.

“Yeah well, we need to talk” you spoke, trying to keep your voice as natural as possible. Making this emotional would make it harder. You also had no emotion left to give to this piece of shit, nor would you give him much more of your time.

“About what?” you could hear the confusion in his voice. You could hear the ruffling of papers from the other side of the call. He must have been rehearsing lines.

“About us” you replied. “I can’t be with you anymore, David. We don’t fit together well, and I know you feel it too”.

“Where the fuck is this coming from?” he spat through the phone. You could see his face within your mind, getting redder with agitation, his hands forming fists. You quickly wiped the image from your mind. You wouldn’t have to bother with his self-serving anger anymore.

“You don’t love me David, alright. And I don’t love you” you said calmly. You had expected to feel a lot more upset saying those words after so long of thinking them. But you felt nothing other than the feeling that it was the right thing to say.

“Has this got something to do with that Richie?” he yelled and you drew in a quick breath.

Whilst you had never spoken directly about Richie with David, he knew his name (and what you could remember of him) from an unfortunate event a year or so ago.

You had been making love with David, back when you truly felt love towards him. Just as you began to reach your peak, arching your back off the mattress with your nails ripping into the skin of his back, you moaned out a name. Within your head, you had heard David’s name leave your lips. However, when he stopped abruptly on top of you and you opened your eyes in a post orgasmic bliss, you were met with angry, hurt eyes.

“What did you just say” he asked through gritted teeth.

“I said… I said your name” you replied, confused.

“You said “Richie”. Who the fuck is Richie?” he gritted out. He had gone completely soft inside of you, his anger causing all of his blood to flow to his now red face. You supposed calling out another man’s name during sex may ruin the mood.

After that night, a few days later when David had cooled down, you explained who Richie was. All you could remember was that he was your childhood friend, and the last time you had seen him was when you were eighteen, so he had nothing to worry about. Or so you thought.

“We all want to be with our childhood crushes, alright? But that doesn’t mean we give up our family to be with them”. You scoffed at his comment. You hadn’t been a family for months. You weren’t sure if you had ever truly been a family or if he had ever truly loved you. He had always had a wondering eye. He had always also had wondering hands, wondering feet, a wondering dick.

“Did you fuck him?” he asked through the phone, his voice a bit softer now. You didn’t respond, taking another drag from your cigarette. “You did, didn’t you”.

If he wanted to paint you as an evil woman for ending things, then you may as well play the part, you thought.

“Yeah I fucked him” you replied, and you heard him let out a laugh of disbelief on the other end of the phone. “I saw him in the Chinese restaurant, and just after ordering some dumplings, we went to the bathroom and fucked in stall. And then after that we went back to our hotel and fucked some more. I’m actually fucking him right now, did you want to say hi?”.

“Fuck you” he interrupted you. “You don’t have to be so fucking cruel”.

“But I do” you were yelling now. “because you had to go and fuck your agent!”.

“That happened months ago!” he cried back.

“Who cares! It happened! I fucking loved you and you did that to me!” you yelled. He was silent now on the other end and you finished your cigarette, most of it burning away and dropping ash on your carpet through the argument. You put it out in an astray on your bed side table.

“I thought I loved you. I think. Back then I didn’t know what love was. So, I thought I loved you. But being here, in Derry with Richie, I get what love is now. It’s being willing to literally die for someone else because you care about their welfare so much. It’s having the courage to die for them, and their presence giving you the courage to make that sacrifice. And can I be honest David?” you asked, not waiting for his permission to answer, “rather than die for you, I’m waiting to see you choke”.

You hung up the phone and let out a deep breath you hadn’t realised you were holding in. You sat within the silence of your room, staring down at your phone. Finally, you blocked David’s number, letting out another sigh of relief.

A moment later you heard a knock at your motel door and you jumped. You had been the first one to return to the motel after retrieving your totem for the ritual Mike had told you about earlier that day. The totem, a copper hand mirror that was greening with age, sat upon your bed side table. You stood up, making your way towards the urgent knocking slowly, cautiously. Finally opening it, you smiled.

Richie stood in front of you, back from his own quest. He had his leather jacket on, his hair still messy and his face looking as though someone had pulled it down into a frown. He was upset. You frowned.

“Are you oka-“ you began.

“Can I come in, please” he said quietly, and you nod your head, moving and opening the door wider to allow him in.

“What happene-“ you once again spoke but he interrupted you again, this time by slamming the door behind you with his hand and towering over you, his lips threatening close to your own.

“Please?” he asked, staring at you with half lidded eyes. You nodded your head once again and he crashed his lips into yours. You moaned at feeling, his strong hands now cupping your face. Your hands were low on his hips, pulling him towards your body. He moved forward, your bodies now flush against each other and moving against one another. His tongue in your mouth, his kisses slow but deep, your eyes were shut tight as you took in all of the sensations. His hands moved from your face to the end of your shirt, playing with the fabric there. You released the kissed, holding your arms up so he could take the material off your body. He threw the shirt somewhere behind him, moving kisses down your neck and to the tops of your breasts above your bra. He kissed your chest slowly, getting onto his knees to kiss at the skin of your bare stomach and his hands now molded around your breasts. He licked at an area of your hip, exposed above your jeans and you moaned, looking down to stare into his eyes which looked up at you.

His hands began to move down to the front of your jeans, unbuttoning them and pulling them down your legs violently fast. You didn’t have time to remove them from your ankles before Richie’s face was in your crotch, sucking at you from the outside of your panties. He licked the fabric and you sighed, leaning against the door behind you and holding onto his head, pushing him further into you. You grabbed at his hair as he ate you out from the outside of your panties, the fabric now soaked. When he released himself from you, you whimpered at the loss of contact. He moved his hands to the jeans that were hanging loosely at your feet, removing your jeans from your ankles and in one swift motion, picking you up in his arms like his bride and caring you to your bed.

His tone changed then, as he stood hovering over you, fully clothed. He stared at you as he let his leather jacket fall from his shoulders to the floor. He began unbuttoning his shirt, the intensity of his gaze on you still strong and the fire within his eyes never dimming. Once he let that fall to the floor as well, he moved his hands to the buttons of his jeans. You sat up then, placing your hand gently on his and staring up at him through your eyelashes.

“Let me” you said softly, and his lids suddenly got heavier.

He moved his hands and allowed you to complete his actions, unbuttoning his jeans and letting them fall around his feet. He now stood before you in his white boxers, his excitement clearer now that his jeans were removed. You almost made a joke about his tighty whities but decided against it. He was not in the mood for jokes, and since this was Richie, that concerned you. You pushed the thought from your mind, reaching to rub him through his underwear. He let out a low groan and you rubbed your thighs together at the sound. You could wait. He needed this.

You pulled his underwear down, taking him hot within your hand and placing him within your mouth. You worked him slowly down your throat as he squeezed his eyes shut and placed his hand gently behind your head. You worked your way back up, starting at a slow pace. You could tell he was trying not to grab your head too hard as he compensated by grabbing your hair. Your other hand rested on his lower stomach, stabilising yourself against him.

“Wait, shit, stop” he grunted out and you pulled back, wiping your mouth. He pushed you lightly back onto the bed and kissed you again, softly at first and then harder as he ground the lower half of his body against yours. You gasped into his mouth as he thrust against you, groaning at the feeling. He slowly pulled back from your kiss, removing his glasses to place them on the bed side table, next to the old hand mirror that sat there also. He stared into your eyes. His face was softer now, not as harsh and fearful as it had been when he had arrived at your door. However, the seeds of doubt within your mind were already beginning to be planted. Why did he need this so badly right now? What had happened?

“Can I-“ he began to ask and you nod your head quickly, shaking your thoughts away. You wanted him. He wanted you. Enough with the drama, you thought. You pulled your underwear down your legs and spread them for him as he lowered his hips, pushing himself slowly into you. He hovered above you, staring at your face as your eyes shut and you tilted your head backwards, a light gasp leaving your mouth. He rested his face within your neck, his other hand in your hair as he thrust into you at a quickening pace.

You reached your arms around his back, nails leaving long red marks upon the pale skin there as you dragged them down. He grunted against you, his sounds being muffled only by the skin of your neck which rested upon his lips. You felt his hand on your face as he gently turned your head towards his own and captured you within a kiss once again. His pace had picked up then, your bed’s springs sounding as though they were shrieking as he slammed into you. Both of your bodies moved with the thrusts, the backboard of the bed hitting the thin walls of your room. Richie slid his hand down your body to your heat, his gentle fingers against you contrasting the rough thrusts of his hips against yours. You began to feel your stomach tighten, a feeling of pleasure lightly making its way up your spine and finally your release came. You held tightly onto Richie, your arms now wrapped around his neck as he continued to kiss you. He moved his face away as his breath quickened and became more jagged. He muttered out a quiet curse as his fast thrusts became more clumsy. As he thrust into you he let out a string of words, so quiet you barely even heard them. “I love you, I love you, I love you” he repeated. You brushed his hair from his face, holding his head in your hands and looking into his eyes.

“I love you Richie” you whispered, and he finally screwed his eyes shut, letting out a low moan and quickly pulled himself out of you to release onto your stomach.

You watched him as his breathing began to slow, his eyes still shut tight and his arms supporting himself above you. After a moment he opened his eyes, smiling at you.

“Sorry about your stomach” he said, motioning to the stickiness there currently. “but I’m a Christian, so I can’t use condoms”.

You rolled your eyes but still smiled at his joke, pulling him down by his shoulders so his head could rest upon your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair, and he hugged you tightly around the waist.

“I ended it with my Fiancé just before you got here” you said and he hummed, a strangely underwhelming response to your announcement.

“What did he say” Richie asked, almost mumbling into the skin of your chest.

“He asked if it was because of you”

Richie lifted his head at this, a look of confusion painting his face. “How does he know who I am? I thought you forgot about me when you left?”

“I did” you replied “well consciously, anyway”. He continued to stare at you in confusion “I called your name out during sex with him once”.

A grin began to grow and grace upon Richie’s face. A shit eating grin. You realised telling Richie such a thing would only feed his ego, and it did. However, you kind of liked to do that you supposed.

“If I was making such an impact before we even had sex, imagine the kind of impact I’m going to have now” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Was I as amazing as your subconscious imagined?”.

You wanted to call him idiot or make a joke about how the sex was just like his Netflix special, a disappointment. But you didn’t. Instead you smiled down at him and rubbed your knuckles lightly and lovingly against his cheek. He shut up after that, shutting his eyes and sighing contently at your touch. Twenty years he had waited for this. Twenty years. Not the sex, necessarily, thought he definitely thought about the sex a lot. But the intimacy was something that he longed for. To hold you against his bare skin and kiss you whenever he wanted. To brush your hair from your face.

“I need to go pee” you said suddenly, and he chuckled, moving off of you and onto your mattress, his face in your pillows. He watched you disappear into the bathroom and shut the door, smiling to himself. He sat up, reaching for his glasses on the bed side table. After placing them upon his face, he noticed the hand mirror that was placed beside them. It was old. Very old. The kind of old you didn’t want to touch in fear it may make you a bit older just by association. The mirror within it was broken, jagged lines cutting through both the glass and his reflection within it. He appeared almost like a Picasso painting, bits of his face misplaced in some parts and smaller in other parts. His mind drifted to what had occurred today, just before he had come to your room. He stood up, pulling on his boxers before moving to where his jeans lay on the motel carpet. He picked them up, reaching into the left front pocket. He pulled out a silver token and moved it between his fingers, your room’s ceiling light reflecting off of it.

“So, are we gonna keep this as our dirty little secret or are we going to tell the rest of the gang about us” you asked, turning off your bathroom light and exiting the room, your body now covered in a bathrobe. Richie face turned to yours quickly, his body almost frozen in fear. Your face shifted quickly from one of teasing cheekiness to one of grave concern. He was terrified.

“What’s going on Rich? What happened today?”

“Did you see him today?” he asked you and you began to blink back tears at the memory. You knew who he meant. It.

“Yeah” you replied quietly.

You stood in silence, trying to push away the memories of what had occurred today. The mirror. The antique shop. Pennywise. Your face, God, what he did to your face. But he didn’t really do anything, did he? Because when you had left the shop, you looked the same. Despite that, it had all felt so real.

“I need to show you something” Richie finally said and began to grab his clothes and dress himself. You watched him move manically around your room before doing the same.


	6. Six

You watched the trees pass you quickly outside of the car window for the second time this week. The afternoon sun shone brightly through the front window, causing you to shade your eyes from its assault. The car was completely silent, with neither you nor Richie daring to break the silence. Despite this, he held your hand tightly, both of your hands resting upon your thigh. His other hand was tight on the wheel, his jaw clenched as he stared out of the front window. You had been shifting your gaze from him, to the side window, to him again – watching him intently. He had not looked over towards you at any point during the drive. His erratic behavior in the hotel worried you. He had pulled you into his car quickly, not answering any of your questions as to where you were going, only murmuring that he needed to show you something important. You had stopped asking pretty early into the drive, choosing instead to wait and see what he was so desperate to show you.

Suddenly he pulled the car over. He finally looked towards you, squeezing your hand lightly.

“This is it” he said and let go of your hand to get out of the car. Before you had the time to open your own door, he was already at your side, pulling the door open and offering a hand to help you out of it. You took his hand, and after he shut your door behind you, he began leading you away from the car. You looked around where you were, taking in the fresh air of the area in which you stood. Tall trees lined the road, all of which lead to a bridge, a bridge that was strangely familiar.

“This is the-“ Richie began to speak.

“Kissing bridge” you finished, smiling at the memory. “I completely forgot about this place”.

“Yeah I figured you would’ve” Richie said.

You looked towards him; a smile pulled across his face. His eyes, however, still had a hint of sadness. Perhaps even a hint of panic. Your own smile dropped slowly at this.

“Why are we here, Richie” you asked, and he grabbed your hand in his once again, pulling you further onto the bridge. Your eyes were drawn to the names and letters that were engraved into the wood of the bridge, timeless reminders of teenage love and loss. You had never come to the bridge as a kid, often saying you hated all of that cheesy, romantic stuff. In reality, you felt a pang of jealousy towards the people who got to come here and write their names upon the wood. You felt envious of their ridiculous, overzealous teenage love.

Richie finally stopped walking, staring at an area of the bridge. You followed his gaze. You almost gasped when you saw four initials within a love heart, that of your first and last name and that of his. You grabbed his arm with your other hand, resting your face into his arm and squeezing him as tight as you could. The confession of love overwhelmed you slightly, causing tears to begin to well up within your eyes. You hid your face further into his arm until your eyes dried up. Finally, you looked up at him. He was smiling down at you, though his smile did not reach his eyes. Something was still worrying him; you could feel it.

You weren’t just here for this.

He pulled you further along the bridge, gently continuing to guide you to where his mind had been for the several days since coming home to Derry. You felt as though every moment with him was leading up to this, though you weren’t sure why. As he pulled you along you continued to look at the initials and names carved into the bridge, but now less jealousy swelled in your heart. Instead you felt anxious, unsure of where Richie was leading you and what he would want to show you there. You swore you could almost feel his heartbeat through the skin of his arm which you held tightly.

He finally stopped, only a few feet down the road of the bridge. He stared intently at the carvings before him and you followed his intense gaze, landing on a specific carving. It had faded with age, perhaps having been too lightly carved to begin with. However the message still stood against time, the two letters connected there would remain upon that bridge until the wood rotted it away or the bridge was prematurely destroyed.

R + E

You stared at the letters, initially unsure of their meaning. You could feel Richie’s gaze burning into the side of your head now, waiting anxiously for a reaction. You continued to stare at the letters, your eyes squinting slightly as your brain tried to understand what Richie was showing you. The R must have been Richie, you figured that much. But the E….

Eve?

Evelyn?

Edwina?

….

Eddie.

Oh.

‘Oh’ you repeated, though it was out loud this time. You finally looked towards him. His eyes were wet with silent tears. He brought a hand to his mouth, trying to quiet the sounds that were dying to come out. “Oh Richie” you cooed, pulling him into your arms. He released everything then, sobbing into your shoulder as you held him tightly. You rubbed your hands up and down his back, whispering sweet nothings into his hair. You weren’t sure what you were saying but you could only hope you were helping.

“I’m sorry” you heard him mumble into your shoulder and you pulled him back from you, so you could look up into his eyes.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Richie” you spoke softly before reaching your head up to kiss his lips softly. He deepened the kiss, and you felt his wet, warm tears against your face. He pulled back only slightly, so your noses were still touching and mumbled ‘I love you’ against your lips. You returned it.

~

“Just some coffee for now, please” you smiled at the diner waitress and she smiled back, walking away from your booth.

Richie sat across from you within the diner, staring out of the large window in which he sat next to. His head was propped lightly onto his palm, his glasses reflecting the light from outside. There wasn’t much of a view through the window. You could only see the other small shops beyond the parking lot. You knew he was only staring out there to avoid your gaze.

You placed your hand on top of his, which rested upon the table in front of him. He turned his head to you then, a small smile directed towards you. You flipped his hand around so that his palm was facing upwards, beginning to play with his fingers with your own. He laughed quietly at your childishness, grabbing your hand to still it so he could hold it. He traced his thumb along the skin of your hand in a way that sent goosebumps up your arm.

“He only did that because he’s scared we’re going to kill him” you said suddenly, and Richie’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Pennywise, I mean, he only taunted you like that in the park-“ you continued.

“Oh right, yeah. I know” Richie replied, still tracing your skin slightly. He had explained everything he had seen that day on your drive to the diner. As you had listened to him tell you his story, you had never wanted to kill that clown more. He brought your hand up to his lips, kissing it a few times loudly. You began giggling and he did to, his mouth still upon your hand. “What did he do to you?” he mumbled into your hand suddenly. He felt you freeze up at his question.

Memories ran through your head again. Your face within the old mirror, your skin appearing as though it was melting down your face, old and wrinkled. The clown’s words echoed through your head.

‘Why would he want you? Nobody wants you. Your own fiancé didn’t want you. He’s going to leave you like everyone else did’

Richie quickly attempted to retract his question, holding your hand tightly and rubbing your arm with his free hand. He pulled you out of your head, some tears falling down your cheeks that you hadn’t realized were there to begin with.

“Sorry” you laughed, wiping some tears away from your eyes. “I’m going to be dehydrated if I cry any more today”.

You expected a quip back, but he instead smiled at you, a smile that insisted an apology for his prying. He didn’t need to apologize, he never needed to, but you took it anyway. You were pulled from gazing into Richie’s eyes when the waitress placed down a jug of coffee and some creamer upon your table. Richie mumbled a thank you and poured you a cup before passing it over to you.

“So, you basically forgot you liked men until you got into Derry” you said, tapping your cup with your nails and attempting to restart a conversation with the man across from you.

Richie rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his cup that he had just poured. His coffee was dark black and bitter as all hell. You still couldn’t believe he took it like that, but you took note of it anyway. For future reference.

“I didn’t, like, drive past the county line and suddenly realize I was into guys” he replied.

“Right, no, of course. You came into town and slowly went through all of the stages of discovering you’re same-sex attracted until you suddenly realized ‘ding ding ding oh my god I like dick’” you announced before quickly realizing the volume of your voice.

Richie rubbed the bridge of his nose between two of his fingers, his other hand still holding his coffee. You were about to apologize for your brashness before he spoke quietly, almost directing his confession at the table. “No, it was when I saw Eddie again”.

You mouthed an ‘oh’. A silence fell over the two of you. The elephant in the room had once again arrived. His confession on the bridge had not just been one of sexuality. It had been one of love for another person. In your head, it had always been you and Richie. Richie, however, had fancied another. Another other than you. Hell, maybe he still liked Eddie. Maybe he loved him. So, where did that leave you? The thought of losing Richie again after just getting him back caused a sinking feeling within your chest. You sunk back into your seat and Richie watched you with concern before you waved him off, taking a sip from your much more heavily creamed coffee.

“I had a thing for Beverly for a while, y’know” you announced, and Richie raised an eyebrow. “It was only for like a week, when she first joined the gang”.

“No way” Richie shook his head “you’re a liar”.

“She was a badass redhead who smoked, Richie! Why wouldn’t I?” you scoffed.

His mouth hung open, face in complete shock at your confession. You continued to drink your coffee, trying not to giggle at his expression.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” he whispered harshly, though there was no malice in his voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Eddie?” you asked back, feigning innocence. He shut up then, staring at you as he finished his drink.

He cleared his throat loudly then and you looked at him, about to tell him to have some manners, before he spoke. “So I was thinking about like… life after” he gestured generally with his hands, trying to prompt himself on his next words.

“Killing Pennywise?” you suggested, and he nodded his head, pointing at you.

“Yes! That.” He continued “I was thinking that we kill him and then, afterwards… on our way home to my house… we stop off in Vegas”

“Since when are you a gambler?” you asked, raising a brow.

“There’s a lot you still don’t know about me, doll” he replied in his Elvis voice. “I was thinking more like….we get an Elvis impersonator to marry us in a Vegas chapel”.

“You want us to have a shotgun wedding, Richie? Seriously?” you laughed loudly, and he smiled widely, almost manically, at you.

“Okay, well firstly, it’s not a shotgun wedding unless there is something you’re not telling me” he said, looking down at your stomach. You hid it with your hands instinctively. “and secondly, why not?” he almost yelled.

“Why not!?” you yelled back.

“Haven’t we waited long enough?” he said this quieter, his smile decreasing in size ever so slightly.

Yes, you supposed. You had waited decades.

“Are you two alright” a lady spoke beside you, and you looked up to see the waitress from before staring down at the both of you disapprovingly. You suppose she had come over to see what the fuss was about due to Richie’s yelling.

“Yeah, um… How much do we owe you?” you asked.

The lady named the price and Richie quickly reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet before you could. He placed the money on the table, leaving a generous tip, and smiled up at the woman as she took the money, her face still showing clear irritation at his previous antics.

As she walked away, you both began to slide out of the booth you were sitting in. Richie was out first and offered a hand to you to help you up.

“You didn’t answer my question” he said, pulling you out of the booth and throwing his arm around you, holding you close to his side.

“I rarely do” you replied, smiling up at him cheekily. He smiled back down at you, pecking your lips quickly before walking the two of you out of the diner.


	7. Seven

Soft fingers trace lightly upon your naked back. Your head, which was resting lightly upon Richie’s bare chest, moved gently with his breath. He was singing along quietly to the song playing from his phone (Def Leppard’s “Hysteria”) which sat on your bedside table. Both of your eyes shut, the two of you were taking in the bliss of being able to hold each other in your arms.

“I can’t believe you give me shit for my taste in music when your post-coital choice of music is Def Leppard” you mumble into his chest, smiling at the face you imagine he is making at your comment.

“Okay first of all, don’t ever use the word coitus again” he piped up and you laughed. “Secondly, you love it. Don’t lie”.

After having your lunch and conversation at the diner you had decided to come back to the motel and look for the others. When you arrived, the motel was empty. After a few anxious calls, you found out they were okay, but dealing with their own totems still. Naturally, a few moments after this and the relief that came with it, you and Richie had ended up in bed together. Again. ‘Making up for lost time’ Richie had said, and you agreed.

You were now laying across his naked chest, feeling the heat of his body against your cheek and relishing in his touch. You tried not to think about how you may never get to do this again if things go badly in the next few days. The thoughts still lingered despite your efforts. Their volume within your mind got a little bit quieter however whenever you felt Richie’s feather light touch upon your back, writing letters and words you couldn’t quite make out.

Richie took your hand that was resting upon his chest into his own and kissed your palm softly. You hummed happily at the feeling and you felt him smile against your hand.

“Did you ever want to pursue anything with Eddie” you asked suddenly but cautiously, and you felt Richie shift to lift his head to look at you curiously.

“What?” he asked.

“Like… did you want to… be with him?” you clarified.

“You mean, instead of being with you?” he said, and you could see that the suggestion of such a thing insulted him slightly. He wasn’t sure how much more he could do to prove his feelings towards you.

“I just mean… if you could be with him, would you?”

“Eddie’s always going to be the first guy I ever felt something… strong towards. And I’m not going to lie and say that coming back here didn’t bring those feelings back up. But you asking me if I’d rather be here with him right now instead you… well it would be like me asking you if you’d rather be laying in here with Bev” he laughed.

“and how do you know I don’t want to be in bed with Bev right now?” you joked.

He laughed again. “I mean I wouldn’t blame you… she looks great” he replied, and you lifted your head to look at him, mouth agape and slapped him lightly on the chest. He feigned injury, but quickly smiled at you again, saying “not as good as you look though”.

You rolled your eyes but reached up to kiss his lips anyway. He kissed you back softly and slowly, his lips soft and light against your own. He let out a soft sigh and you grinned against his lips, causing him to move in for another kiss.

“Have you ever dated a woman?” he asked against your lips, your eyes still shut from the kiss.

“Is that what you were thinking about just now… as we’re making out?” you asked.

“We were kissing, not making out” he said seriously, and you rolled your eyes.

“Richie.”

“Fine. Yes.” He confessed.

You sighed and moved to lay back on your pillow, facing the ceiling. Richie moved to his side to stare at you, tucking some of your behind your ear and away from your face. You looked towards him, eyes wide with love. You could see his eyes mirrored yours.

“I had a girlfriend in college” you said, and you could see his eyes light up for a moment. Richie was holding your hand, playing with your fingers as you spoke. “She was a film studies major”.

“Naturally” he replied, and you frowned playfully at him, but quickly smiled again when he grinned at you.

“She moved to California about six months into the relationship. We tried to do long distance, but it just didn’t work out” you explained.

“I’d say I’m sorry to hear that but… her loss is my gain so…” Richie said and leaned forwards to kiss your lips again. He moved his kisses over to your cheek and then your jaw, slowly making his way down your neck. You moaned softly and you heard him let out a deep breath, trying to control himself.

“Teenage horniness is really not something I thought would come back to me when I came back here” he laughed lightly into your neck. He began to position himself on top of you, letting his naked lower half rest on top of your own. You could feel that he was semi-hard already. So soon after your last session as well. He continued to kiss and suck at your neck and you giggled at the sensation, feeling him smile against the skin of your neck.

“Maybe you should tell Eddie” you said suddenly, and Richie stilled on top of you. He moved up to look you in the eye, his brows furrowed.

“Oh, you totally just ruined the mood” he groaned, moving to lay on his back next to you.

“Sorry” you cooed, and he just huffed, turning so that he was on his side and his back was facing you.

You cuddled up closer to him, resting your face against the skin of his back, between his broad shoulders, and placed an arm around his waist.

“I just mean… I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few days… even the next few months. And I also don’t completely know the extent of how you felt about Eddie.” You sighed “But what I do know is that telling you how much I loved you back when we were kids was really like… healing for me”.

Richie was unmoving for a moment before he turned back over to face you. He slung an arm around your waist and kissed your forehead lightly. “Are you saying you don’t still love me?” he mumbled against you and you slapped his arm lightly at his joke. He was trying to deflect with humour, as he always did. But you wouldn’t take it right now. Not regarding this.

“You’re right” he finally said. Though you couldn’t see his face, as you had moved to bury your face into his neck, you could tell he was serious. “I’ll talk to him”.

You smiled and you hoped that he was smiling too.

Suddenly a man’s voice, Ben’s you were sure, boomed loudly from downstairs “Y/N!? Richie!? You guys here”.

Richie groaned and released you from his grip, quickly racing out of his bed and putting on his briefs before jogging to his room’s door.

“Yeah! Be down in a second” he yelled out of the door, opening it only enough to get his voice to reach the man downstairs but still hide his semi-nakedness. “I also didn’t realise that coming back here meant that just like my teenage years, I’d be constantly interrupted when I had a girl in my bed” he joked with you after closing the door behind him.

He walked from the door to his bed again, realizing quite quickly that you were strangely quiet. The look he saw upon your face was once of immense fear. It was probably what his own face had looked like after his encounter with It earlier that day.

“You know what everyone being back here means” you said quietly, looking up at Richie from the bed.

“Were going to have to go….have to go kill-“ Richie began to answer.

“It” you finished. Your throat was suddenly far too dry as you tried to swallow down a swelling feeling within it.

You watched Richie stare at you as thought he was trying to commit all he was seeing to memory. You did the same.


End file.
